Bar/Bat Mitzvahs
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History: An important coming-of-age event for a young Jewish boy or girl is the Bar Mitzvah or Bat Mitzvah. A boy is Bar Mitzvah when he reaches his thirteenth birthday, while girls are Bat Mitzvah when they are twelve. However, the girl's ceremony can be postponed to their thirteenth birthday as well. The literal meaning of Bar/Bat Mitzvah is “son or daughter of the commandments” and it represents reaching the age of maturity.

Historically, a Bar Mitzvah is the ceremonial occasion that marks the time when a young person is recognized as an adult in the Jewish community and is responsible for performing mitzvoth, the commandments set forth in the bible, or Torah. For example, before children are Bar/Bat Mitzvah, they do not need to fast on Yom Kippur. However after bar/bat mitzvah, they are required to fulfill this commandment. At Bar Mitzvah age they are also counted in the minyan, a quorum of ten required to conduct a prayer service.

The Bar/Bat mitzvah ceremony consists of the young person chanting blessings and the Torah portion of the week, typically in Hebrew. One also reads the Haftarah portion. There are many traditions that accompany the Bar/Bat Mitzvah experience. While the actual day is important and memorable, the years of preparation before are just as enlightening and vital.

Over time, the Bar/Bat Mitzvah celebration party has evolved. The custom is to serve a special meal to commemorate the mitzvah taking place. Moreover, with extended families spread out over the country, the Bar/Bat Mitzvah is also an opportunity for families to reunite and spend time together.

Children begin preparing for their Bar/Bat Mitzvah by going to Religious school years before they actually turn Bar/Bat Mitzvah age. In fact, some children attend religious school from kindergarten on. The purpose of going to religious school is to learn about Jewish customs, holidays, history and the Hebrew language. In the year leading up to the event, the student begins more intense training focused specifically on their Torah portion and the accompanying prayers. The day the young person is Bar/Bat Mitzvah is the first time he/she will have ever been called to read from the Torah in synagogue.

In addition to preparing one's Torah portion, the preparatory year serves as a chance for the young person to begin thinking about what being a Bar/Bat Mitzvah really means. In some synagogues the young person may make a commentary on their portion and try to apply the teachings of the Torah to their own lives.
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Planning Tips
 2 Years Before the Event:
Obtain date from Temple/Synagogue. Set your budget. Decide on the type of event you want (day, evening, formal etc.) Estimate number of guests and book reception hall or caterer. Book the photographer/videographer.

1 1/2 Years Before the Event:
Book the band or DJ. Decide on your party theme/color scheme.

6-12 Months Before the Event:
The child will start learning his/her Torah portion. The child might plan and begin implementing a tzedakah project (communit service or charity). Talk to florists about prices and floral designs. Decide on centerpieces/balloon designs. Start looking at invitation designs and prices.
Book hotel block for out-of-state guests. Start clothes shopping.

3-6 Months Before the Event:
Order or design your sign-in board or guest book. Order favors, yarmulkes, invitations.

3 Months Before the Event:
Finalize the guest list. Make a hotel packet for out-of-towners. Try to make your final selections on clothing and accessories. Find calligrapher. Have completely assembled invitations weighed to ensure correct postage. Buy stamps. Buy special tallit and yarmulke for the honoree child. 

6-8 Weeks Before the Event:
Mail the invitations. Make up a song list for the DJ/band. Make appointments with florist/balloonist and place order. Make hair stylist and manicure appointments. Child should start writing speech for the service.

1 Month Before the Event:
Have final fittings done for clothing. Arrange catering for brunch. Order food for Kiddush or Oneg Shabbat. Buy thank you gifts/notes for everyone helping with arrangements.

2-3 Weeks Before the Event:
Choose people for aliyot and honors. Choose the people to be honored for the candle lighting ceremony and write poems. Meet with DJ/band and make sure they know the candle lighting songs. Do guest seating arrangements and send to the reception hall. Make sure arrangements are complete with centerpieces, balloons, sign-in board etc. Decide if you want flowers or food baskets on the bimah at the synagogue or temple. Write prayers or speeches. Send final instructions to photographer/videographer.

1 Week Before the Event:
Take formal pictures and pictures on Bimah. Meet with caterer for final guest count. Make arrangements to get your guests from the airport to the hotel. Confirm your brunch arrangements.

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1 Week After the Event:
Send thank you notes.

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